The Long Hot Summer: Part One
According to the calendar, summer doesn’t begin until June 20th, but according to the movie industry, it begins the first weekend of May. That’s right, Hollywood’s Silly Season is nearly upon us; the time of year when audiences are pummeled by a surfeit of empty entertainment extravaganzas that make up for a lack of substance with an abundance of marketing and hype. Like so many tranquilized lemmings, movie-goers line up en masse for what the studios dish out, as evidenced by the top 5 films at the box office in 2007 all having been released between May and August.
Summer is also the time of year when bloggers and industry journalists fall over themselves trying to predict the box office hits and misses as though the number of movies that make more than $300 million or how many billions are spent on movie tickets this summer has any meaning outside of studio boardrooms.
The truth as far as Living in Cinema is concerned is that, moviewise, summer is a fine time to go the beach. Nevertheless, this isn’t going to be another anti-summer rant. Those are just as boring and fruitless as box office estimates. This year I’m taking a glass is half full approach. Summer is what it is. You can accept it, pick your spots and try to enjoy the spectacle, or you can shut your trap and keep quiet about it. Crying isn’t going to get you anywhere.
With that attitude in mind, the schedule offers a few glimmers of hope. At least there are fewer sequels this summer than last. Overall there is a greater emphasis on comedies and there are more pictures aimed at women. Hollywood’s track record in both genres does little to inspire confidence, but summer could prove to be a refreshing change of pace.
Here then is part one of LiC’s look at what’s coming this summer, whether you like it or not. The following list is comprised only of the first-weekend wide releases. There are no limited releases or platform rollouts. Too many limited releases fly in under the radar to properly be able to anticipate them now, but I will continue to highlight them in each Weekend Forecast as an alternative to the hoopla. All dates are subject to change. LiC’s picks are starred.
May 2
*Iron Man. Tony Stark doesn’t have any fruity mutant super powers; he’s just a wealthy industrialist who invents a flying suit of armor that has all manner of technological devices and weapons he uses to fight crime. He’s not one of Marvel’s more popular characters and he’s never had his own TV show, but he’s one I always liked as a kid. The casting of Robert Downey, Jr. is a potential stroke of genius, at least from a creative standpoint. Yeah, I’m looking forward to this one. Screenings in select theaters have been moved up to May 1 at 8pm.
Made of Honor. In a bit of counter-programming, Columbia rolls out this romantic comedy with McDreamy from TV’s Gray’s Anatomy and cutie Michelle Monaghan (Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang). They’re best friends, she gets engaged and asks him to be her ‘maid’ of honor, he realizes he’s in love with her and tries to stop the wedding. Since ‘Romantic Comedy’ is generally studio code for flaccid turd, the odds are probably against this one.
May 9
*Speed Racer. The Wachowski’s bring that crazy Japanese auto racing cartoon to candy-colored life starring Emile Hirsch as Speed, Christina Ricci as Trixie, John Goodman as Pops, Susan Sarandon as Mom and Matthew Fox as the mysterious Racer X. This is either going to be a lot of fun or a day-glo disaster of epic proportion. Either way, I’m there.
What Happens in Vegas. Another romantic comedy counter-programming maneuver. Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz are two strangers who wake up after a drunken night in Vegas to find they’ve gotten married. A divorce should be a simple matter until Kutcher wins a huge jackpot using Cameron’s quarter. You can almost see the high-concept light going off in the studio mogul’s head as soon as those stupid Vegas commercials started airing.
May 16
*The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. I loved the books when I was a kid and, unlike most people, I quite liked The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. Expectations are modest. Either way, the current rumor is that Disney plans to cut the series short as a trilogy, ending for now at least with Voyage of the Dawn Treader. The break makes a certain sense because Voyage is the last book to feature the Pevensies as children. In subsequent books they appear as adults or not at all so even if Disney stops for now, they could always pick the franchise up again later without missing a beat.
May 22
*Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I initially had no interest in this one at all, but then I saw that first picture of Harrison Ford in that damn hat several months back and suddenly I wanted it to be good. Jeff Wells has been laying the groundwork to hate it for months. First there were endless cracks about Harrison Ford looking like “Uncle Festus” in a weird conflation of Uncle Fester and the Festus character from Gunsmoke. Then there was a bunch of crying about aliens. Then he saw the trailer and decided it might be cool so he piped down hoping Paramount would invite him to an early screening. Recently he reported false speculation that the film would clock in at 140 minutes, the unstated implication being that Spielberg had delivered another bloated corpse of a movie. He’s had more on the subject, but it looked spoilery so I steered clear. There’s little chance Spielberg and Lucas will deliver a classic like the original, but I’m hoping we get at least a Last Crusade level of fun. Though my opinion of that one has waned over the years, I clearly remember enjoying it at the time.
May 23
Postal. When he’s not trying to get cinematic cancer Michael Bay into the boxing ring, Uwe Boll brings videogames to a simulacrum of life. This one’s a crude action comedy. Take that for what it’s worth. Or don’t.
May 30
Sex and the City. I’m contractually obligated to mention this one or my friend Desiree will have me deballed in my sleep, which incidentally would be preferable to seeing this shallow paean to materialism and mating brought to the big screen.
The Strangers. Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman are terrorized by masked strangers at a remote vacation home. I hate when that happens. Don’t you?
June 4
Kung-Fu Panda. Jack Black provides the voice of an overweight animated Panda training in the art of Kung Fu in this latest from DreamWorks Animation. You know, for kids.
June 6
You Don’t Mess with the Zohan. Adam Sandler is an Israeli Mossad agent who fakes his own death in order to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a hairdresser. The script is co-written by Robert Smigel and Judd Apatow. This should offer Sandler plenty of room to give his 13-year-old’s fear of homosexuality a good working over.
June 13
The Happening. It turns out the twist ending here is that Lady in the Water didn’t end M. Knight Shyamalan’s directing career. Mark Wahlberg and family flee a natural disaster that threatens humanity.
The Incredible Hulk. Such is Hollywood’s addiction to recognized properties that even the embarrassing failure of Ang Lee’s original Hulk movie couldn’t stop them from making another. This time Edward Norton plays Bruce Banner, Liv Tyler is Betty Ross, William Hurt is Thunderbolt Ross and Tim Roth is archnemesis Emil Blonsky aka The Abomination.
June 20
Get Smart. LiC is against turning old TV shows into movies on principle so we can’t get behind this one even though we like Steve Carell as bumbling agent Maxwell Smart and Anne Hathaway as Agent 99. Neither the director Peter Segal (Naked Gun 33 1/3, My Fellow Americans, Nutty Professor II) nor the writing team of Matt Ember and Tom J. Astle (Failure to Launch) do much to inspire confidence.
Kit Kittredge: An American Girl. The American Girl “lifestyle brand” comes to the big screen in this family comedy with Abigail Breslin as a nine year old growing up during the Great Depression. I don’t even know what American Girl is, but I’m guessing if you have a little girl, you’ll be there June 20. Me? Not so much.
The Love Guru. Mike Meyers continues to try and prove he’s Peter Sellers. I’ll give you a dollar if he succeeds. Judging by the trailer, he doesn’t. Here he plays an Indian self-help guru who specializes in helping troubled couples. Jessica Alba also stars.
June 27
*WALL•E. Here it is ladies and gentlemen: the movie I’m most looking forward to this summer. I hope this tale of the last robot on earth is more Incredibles and less Cars.
Wanted. Russian director Timur Bekmambetov (Night Watch) brings Mark Millar’s comic book miniseries to the big screen. James McAvoy plays a 25-year-old clock-puncher leading a mundane life who discovers he’s inherited superpowers from his murdered father when he’s recruited into the secret society of assassins his father belonged to. Also with Angelina Jolie, Terence Stamp and Morgan Freeman. The trailer didn’t do much for me, but I like the cast and the concept.
Coming up next: July and August…
Filed under: Upcoming
Related Posts: - The Long Hot Summer: Part Two
- ‘Valkyrie’ Won’t Ride Until 2009
- The Watercooler: 8/18/08
- Shelter in the Summer Storm
- Avengers Assemble
Damn, it’s weird. I want to be optimistic about a new Indiana Jones movie and a new Erroll Morris movie and a really cool-looking Pixar flick, but I’m mostly just looking forward to “Iron Man.” That “yeah, I can fly” scene really sold me. If I could see any summer movie tomorrow, I’m amazed to say it’d be “Iron Man.”
And frickin’ “Dark Night” would be a close second.
And I’m an old comic book reader who doesn’t really like most recent comic book movies.
I’m so confused.
Wow, that was a breezy, funny and timely take on the first big part of the summer (early May to late June). Thanks a lot, Craig, you again prove your awesomeness and ruledom.
I have no interest in that Uncle Festus movie made by that awful hack; I’ll definitely see the Uwe Boll flick that same weekend, though.
I just saw Blake Edwards’s The Party again a little bit earlier–so hilarious–with the incomparable Peter Sellers playing an Indian actor at a posh Hollywood party. Did Meyers see this and decide to take a stab? Saw a trailer for this before The Forbidden Kingdom. It looked like it had some humorous parts to it, but the problem with Meyers comedies is that they may have excellent concepts, like the first Austin Powers, but they blow it on too much bathroom/bedroom “humor” and too little parody/satire.
Wanted looks like The Matrix version 9.0 but it might be okay. Success rates for new Hollywood transplants like Bekmambetov are not so high, however.
I liked the first Narnia movie, too, despite its flaws and limitations.
Iron Man is, at this point, the anti-Spiderman 3. The more I hear about it, the more interested and intrigued I become. And I completely agree that the casting of Robert Downey, Jr. is probably a stroke of genius. Any lead casting of a superhero movie that makes you go “Whaa?” is either genius or stupidity. In this case, I suspect genius.
2007 was an amazing year for cinema, but its summertime blockbusters were depressing as hell. Then again, maybe it was just the prospect of them more than anything because I didn’t even see Spiderman 3, Pirates 3, Ocean’s 13, Harry Potter and The Blah Blah Blah (was there a Harry Potter movie last summer?), Transformers, whatever Will Smith movie there was (was there a Will Smith movie?) and a slew of others.
Once, Ratatouille and The Bourne Supremacy all got me through the summer okay, though.
I’m most excited to see Speed Racer. Looks wild. And I’m with you on Crystal Skull. I’m expecting another Last Crusade.
Summer for you, winter for me, no doubt I get most of your summer films around the same time as you guys, which would be great if most summer films weren’t as lame as they usually are. This summer/winter I am happy to say that I too am *glass-half-fulling* the season.
Hmph. Some summer. Though it is (and always will be) my favourite season.
It was snowing here last weekend. SNOWING. Yes, we get very little snow as a rule - and never EVER in April. That’s so ridiculously rare it doesn’t even happen.
That said, IRON MAN, INDY (now that KAREN ALLEN and JOHN HURT have joined the cast - YAY!!!), GET SMART and WANTED all look like fun. But they’re also big question marks at this point.
Not one of them is an inevitable for me.
I’m with you on Iron Man Harvey. I’ve got my May 1, 8pm ticket at the Cinerama Dome purchased and printed. I was skeptical about this one until that first clip from Comic Con came out. I’m an easy lay I guess.
I’m with Ari on Speed Racer too, which is even more surprising to me. When I first saw the trailer, my reaction was “huh?”, but then I kind of started to get the family movie vibe they seemed to be going for. If they can capture the goofy innocence of the original cartoon, I think it might be fun. Having said that, I can also see this thing being a total train wreck.
Alexander. The Party is great and that’s exactly what I thought of when I saw the Guru trailer too.
As Christian has mentioned here before, Mr. Edwards made an appearance at a screening of The Party which played alongside Christian’s beloved Skidoo in LA a few months back. Edwards was an unexpected surprise and it was great to see the standing O he got.
My combination of hope and enthusiasm is highest for WALL-E…I think it has the best chance of living up to expectations. My enthusiasm for Iron Man is just as high, but I’m a little more skeptical.
Snow!? I thought it was Winter in South Africa, not North America…
I am unashamed to admit that I love Hollywood summers. If it was bubblegum blockbusters all year round I’d sing a different tune, but I love all the seasons the movies go through (apart from the Jan/Feb dead zone), and summer is no exception. I don’t like watching stuffy intellectual think-pieces all the time, but I don’t like watching low-art diversions all the time either. The one balances the other (which is why I can muster equal amounts of excitement for a 7 hour Hungarian film like Satantango and a guilty pleasure head rush like Iron Man).
So, bring it on, I will be in line with wallet firmly in hand and popcorn poised before mouth.
I’m with you on all of your picks, Craig, although I would add Get Smart (the trailer made me laugh…what can I say?), The Happening (M. Night didn’t squander all of his goodwill with me on The Villiage and Lady in the Water yet, but this may be his last chance at redemption), and The Hulk (I think they’re going to get it right this time).
And yes, Wall-E is the best one of the bunch. Anyone want to take bets on how long it will be before Pixar jumps the shark? I’m guessing a decade.
So in the first four weeks, you’re going to have Iron Man, then Speed Racer, then Narnia, then Indy? How is anything going to get any traction? I bet all these films mildly disappoint at the box office, just because of the crowdedness.
They should have left Narnia in December. It’s perfect for that time of year.
I’ve said this before, but I remember watching the TV show Get Smart on Nick at Nite as a kid and enjoying the heck out of it. If they can somehow get the big things right, it just might be worthwhile. If not, then no. I hope it’s not another Bewitched (which I admittedly skipped).
Craig, that’s a great story about Edwards and The Party, and I do remember you and Christian writing about that before. The Party rules. Sellers is a god. Meyers is all too mortal.
According to Chuck, Shyamalan’s The Happening screenplay features the worst ending of his career. As if I was interested in it to begin with…
Evan, Satantango is a great film that deserves one’s attention for seven hours. It’s more consistent, I think, than Berlin Alexanderplatz (which is still marvelous). This reminds me, I need to see Bergman’s five-hour cut of Fanny and Alexander again one of these days because it’s been so long and I love that film. Maybe I’ll wait for Christmas for that.
The more the guys at CHUD and AICN say Crystal Skull is doomed, the more and more optimistic I get.
K. Bowen, not to get into a box office discussion, since that’s not one of the interests of Craig (or me, for that matter), but just for the heck of it and since you brought it up, I predict that Iron Man will clean up X-Men 2 style (despite it being a franchise-launcher, not a sequel) because the market is “ready” for the first juggernaut of summer, and the marketing seems to have captured almost maximum interest. Indy 4 is probably the best-positioned film of the summer. Look at those three weeks after it comes out. There ain’t nothin’ that seems to hit even close to the same basic demo until Hulk and Happening arrive on the 13th of June. If Indy is really good, its legs will be long, and its release date only helps.
If tracking numbers are ever to be believed (and they probably aren’t), Speed Racer seems to be in trouble. And I agree that Narnia should have been reserved for Christmastime–that’s its perfect time.
This is the first time in many genre summers that it’s felt almost like 1982, when I saw ET, THE THING, ROAD WARRIOR, POLTERGEIST, BLADE RUNNER, WRATH OF KHAN, and of course, MEGAFORCE.
I was sold on IRON MAN the second I heard Downey was cast.
INDY, yes, please. WALL-E looks amazing. SPEED RACER could change film-making if it works. BATMAN BEGINS is a must-see, but I fear Nolan will make it too overwrought. And hopefully he learned how to direct action scenes. Ledger carries with him a CROW-like Brandon Lee vibe in this role.
Everybody sing-along: Are you ready for the summer…
I concur with that analysis wholeheartedly, Christian (despite my not being around to enjoy the summer of ‘82). That is still probably my favorite thread over at H-E, about that summer and other ’80s summers, etc.
I agree with you, this summer looks really stacked with (sight unseen) immense quality and a diverse platter of very interesting genre and tentpole films. From Indy to Pineapple Express, from Iron Man to WALL-E, from Narnia to The Dark Knight, and so forth.
Just got into Stockton for the Asparagus Festival… This is going to be a great summer in many ways…
Evan, my only real beef with summer is that, unchained from any intellectual component, it too often drifts aimlessly and unsatisfactorily in a sea of gluttonous stupidity. I hate formula and lack of originality and too often Hollywood stoops to both.
I could also dust off my old rant about the anti-creative force money has and how the more these things cost, the less interesting they amost always become. But I won’t.
As I said, for me the glass is half full.
Get Smart could actually work…and I admit some of the signs are positive…but we’ve been burned on this score so many times before, I’m remaining skeptical.
I’m also curious about Hulk and I hope it works even if I’m not counting on it.
I don’t know about Pixar jumping the shark but news of Cars 2 is not encouraging. I know that movie has many fans and they’re sequelizing Toy Story again…but it all gives me pause.
Damn Christian, way to raise the bar. 1982?
I think GET SMART looks awful. It’s going to be everything I hate in post-modern comedy. The mere sight of Carell deadpan doesn’t send me into comedy heaven. It all comes down to “Ow, my balls!”
Never been a fan of superheroes (and less so of superhero movies), but I’m already sold on Iron Man. Paul Avery diverts his self-destruction into everything else-destruction? I’m there. Since he shares my name, I’m contractually obligated to see Wall*E. Pixar has never let me down (I missed Cars). I’m also a sucker for apocalyptic movies, so I’m looking forward to The Happening and, moreso, Blindness later this summer. The Dark Knight is also a given. On the whole, a pretty good looking summer. I know I’ll end up seeing Indy 4, but I’m not terribly excited about it. Hopefully, having low expectations will make for a pleasant surprise.
christian, dude…grab a hot pocket and relax!
Seriously though, I know where you’re coming from. Don’t let my optimistic stance fool you.
Looking quickly at the schedule, Summer seems a little front loaded this year. Maybe it always is, but I’ll bet the bean counting stooges looked at last year’s results and saw how each subsequent movie seemed to do a little less than the one before it so they’ve got it in their heads it’s a repeating pattern. This is how bean counting stooges operate and this is why they’re no good for movies.
I think that any summer following the last that doesn’t include a long series of three-quels can’t help but be better. Further, we’ve got some honest-to-god decent prospects awating us. Just from Craig’s tally above, Iron Man and Wall-E both look potentially good and there’s hope that Hulk, Prince Caspian, and Indy 4 won’t disappoint (although my expectations are exceedingly low for all three).
Other than that though, the rest of these initial offerings leave me utterly cold. None of the comedies sound interesting in the least and of the rest, Speed Racer and Wanted look marginally interesting due to being effects-heavy visual nuttiness.
I know Speed Racer is going for a G-rating, never a good sign for me unless I’m watching animation, and Wanted is a complete emasculation of everything that made the original comic interesting.
Still, there’s a handful of movies I’m actually looking forward to this summer, which is far better than the offerings of the last couple years. And who knows what smaller, unexpected gems might come our way? No one saw Once coming last year.
“And hopefully he learned how to direct action scenes”
From your mouth to God’s ear, Christian.
“It turns out the twist ending here is that Lady in the Water didn’t end M. Knight Shyamalan’s directing career.”
Tee hee, love it.
Summer blockbusters hold little interest for me. That’s not to say that I don’t sometimes find entertainment and artfulness in films (e.g. Nolan’s Batmans, most Pixar) made to appeal to a broad audience base, with teenage boys being a must. But in the face of so much that is genuinely great and intriguing that I haven’t seen I can’t work up much enthusiasm for prioritizing movies that mostly succeed commercially because they’re safe and formulaic, high on spectacle and thrills with one-liners thrown in.
Thanks for the preview, Craig. sartre picked out my favorite part, too.
I’ll just come right out and say it. For all the garbage that comes out during the summer, it’s really one of my favorite times to go to the movies. Hot afternoon into a cool, dark theater to be taken somewhere amazing that, if you wish, you can forget about by that night. Love those summer matinees.
Hah, Daniel and sartre post back-to-back comments that perfectly sum up my bi-polar opinion of summer movies. My hat is off to you both…I could not have said it better.
Danny, I salute you.
There is definitely something about summer. I dig the heat year round. I don’t really need seasons. (Though, admittedly, a little snow around Christmas is always nice. Adds to the festive mood. But it’s rare that we get any.)
Exquisite experiences (whatever they may be) are hard to block out. Some of them you’ll still be thinking about, sitting on the front porch as a 90 year old.
To me, you can’t really top settling down in a movie theatre on a summer afternoon or evening. You can be by yourself or with someone special. It’s endlessly glorious to settle into the air conditioned interior, slip off your shoes in the balcony and drink deeply from something tall and cool. The movie doesn’t have to be great. Just as long as it’s good. Needless to say, the company can make all the difference.
I’ve been doing this for about ten years now. But I strongly suspect it won’t ever get old. Summer is the hottest and the most naturally vivid of the seasons. It was made for dreams of all kinds.
So moviegoing fits perfectly into all of that. It’s a marvelous way to use that intense heat to your advantage.
It is bi-polar, isn’t it, Joel? The summer movie can be your biggest regret or the most fun you have all year.
“Summer is the hottest and the most naturally vivid of the seasons. It was made for dreams of all kinds.”
Beautiful!
If I may sum up your thoughts and clarify my own: in contrast to the other seasons, summer movie-going is really about the journey, not the destination.
Thanks, Danny. You are, as always, a peach…
The perfect summer fruit…
A new TV spot for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull… I dare you to not get even a little excited…
http://downloads.paramount.com/mp/indianajones/tv2/IJ_tvs2_powerrev30_720p.mov
For some reason, unlike the trailer, which I liked, and the first TV spot, which was okay, this one really got me.
Meanwhile, though there are only a few reviews in, Iron Man is sitting pretty at R-T with a current 86%. And… David Poland has panned it, so that’s probably a good sign.
Just trying to stay optimistic here.
I’m steering clear of all Iron Man and Dark Knight stuff for now, but I’ll wallow in Indy. That was pretty good, but I think I actually was more excited by the first one.
Well put it this way, before seeing the first one, my interest was nearly flatlined, but after seeing it I was amped up. This one, I was already kinda amped up so it didnt’ hit me as hard. Does that make any sense…?
I have decided to quit watching trailers of any kind for films that I know I’m already going to see. I’m going to see Indy IV, no matter what. They could put out a trailer with Harrison Ford dressed up in drag doing the salsa with a transvestite midget and I would still pay to see it. So why ruin any of the visuals?
Swearing off trailers for a film is a revelatory experience if you’ve never done it. It helps bring back some of the magic to sitting in a dark theater, eagerly wondering what you’re going to see next without keeping a mental tally in your head of whether or not they’ve shown you every image that was in the trailer.
Welcome to the light side, Evan… :-)
A year ago Evan, I was doing the same thing you are. I still do it for certain films, but since I’ve been blogging I’ve been more tempted to feel ‘informed’ so I make exceptions.
You’re absolutely correct about the revelatory experience and the extra magic you get when you go in completely clueless. It’s especially satisfying because it takes so much effort.
Iron Man…..tomorrow……cannot wait…..*explodes into nothingness out of sheer anticipation*
ahahah…Nick is nothing but a vapor trail of enthusiasm.
I’m down to T -34:15 and counting.
I’ve already seen it, na-na-na-nana :-p
Nah, just kidding. Enjoy, though.
D’oh!
I know we’re normally diplomatic and considerate of one another’s opinion here, but that new INDY trailer rocks and those who don’t think so need to recognize.
Yes, they cheat by using the Raiders score, but fuck it, Williams has proven that he’s still capable of delivering awesome Spielberg music.
GO JONES!
Now that I think about it, the first trailer had all that unneccesary junk at the beginning and only kicked in for the 2nd half. This one hits the ground running, and of that I approve.
For real, Chuck. Forget the second TV spot…
The second trailer makes me feel like I’ve de-aged 15 years.
Even most of the blase and jaded chumps around the ‘Net are doing somersaults over it.
And you’re right, Craig, the first trailer spent practically half of its running time recapping the trilogy. With that out of the way, Trailer #2 just sells the film like mad.
Spielberg said Blanchett was the best and most ruthless villain the series had known. I’m beginning to believe him.
“Put your arms down, you’re embarrassing us.” Love it.
There, those are my exuberant thoughts on the trailer, and now back to non-geeky, non-trailer-worshipping programming…