Non-story of the moment: From Iron Man to Iron Hef?
Qualifying the story as “not a 100 percent done deal,” Bill Zwecker is reporting in the Chicago Sun-Times that Robert Downey Jr. could play Hugh Hefner in the upcoming film Playboy.
Cinematical’s Erik Davis picked up the story and that’s where I read about it.
Let’s look at what “not a 100 percent done deal” means. In this case it means Hef watched Iron Man in the mansion screening room, liked Downey Jr. as fictional playboy Tony Stark, figured he’d be ideal for the part of Hef in the planned Playboy movie, then went off and banged the crap out of one of any number of fake-breasted blondes until the Viagra wore off.
Meanwhile, an unnamed ‘representative’ of Mr. Downey said the actor was “interested in the Hefner project but is unlikely to commit to it until a script is done and a director is named.” Emphasis mine.
How many projects do you suppose there are with no scripts or directors that in-demand actors are theoretically interested in? Let’s estimate lots.
Is Downey’s representative supposed to say “No, Mr. Downey is absolutely not interested in this project if it ever happens”? Of course not. That would be stupid.
Hey, here’s a news flash: It’s not a 100 percent done deal, but I have signed off on having red-hot monkey sex with Scarlett Johansson this evening. Yay me.
Representatives of Ms. Johansson could not be reached for comment.
Filed under: Rumors
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Does Ryan Reynolds know about this…?
Hahahaha… The line about signing off for sex with Johansson was somehow so vividly pictorial that I didn’t quite understand the correlation to the rest of the story beyond Hef screwing blondes… Then I actually used my brain and realized what you were really saying. A true, deceptively simple layer cake of writing there, Craig, I think you’ve possibly outdone yourself.
Miranda, I’m pretty sure Mr. Reynolds knows he has nothing to worry about.
Alexander, I unlayered it a little bit…I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea.
“How many projects do you suppose there are with no scripts or directors that in-demand actors are theoretically interested in? Let’s estimate lots.”
Yeah, I’ve got Downey Jr down as a potential star in my uncompleted script “Sexually Transmitted Disease Carrying Monkeys Go Wild in Vegas”.
As yet, his people refuse to talk to mine. But they’ve not outright denied his possible future involvement.
hahahah…naturally!
The James Bond-like grand finale combat scene sees two sets of jetpack flying monkeys duking it out over Vegas. One lot will be wearing sequined one piece Elvis jump suits and the other Nazi storm trooper leather and jackboots.
Studio Pinhead thinks it’s gold.
ahahahaha
I think Stan Lee would be a better choice. :-)
Hi Joseph. Thanks for stopping by.
It’s funny you mention that because I thought of that cameo as I was reading the non-story.
That brings me to the point that Downey is great, but I’m not sure if he’s a natural for Hefner. Of course, that’s why they call it acting, but Downey has an edginess to him, a hyperactivity, where Hef always comes across more laid back and cool.
The last I heard, Brett Ratner, the cinematic equivalent of a stain in your shorts, was trying to get a film about Hef made. Checking his IMDb page, I see no mention of any project apparently related to Hefner, which can only be good news for Downey and his contined career resurgence.
Although I admit, I’d be really happy to see him stay away from biopics.
According to the Sun Times link, Ratner is no longer attached, but they haven’t precluded him being re-attached.
Here’s hoping this will keep the man away from movie sets as much as possible:
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117986343.html?categoryid=14&cs=1&nid=2562
If Ratner is attached, Downey would be best advised to stay away. FAR away. Otherwise, it would be pretty good casting.