The Summer of Our Discontent: August

Eli Roth and Brad Pitt get one more Nazi scalp in Inglourious Basterds

After mostly shooting blanks in May, June and July, the summer is saved as August arrives bearing the most anticipated wide-release movie of season as far as Living in Cinema is concerned: Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds. Better late than never, I guess.

August 7

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. As a boy I inherited all manner of sweet G.I. Joe hand-me-down crap from my three older brothers. This was back when Joe was a foot tall, had a beard (blonde, red or brown!), a scar and hands molded just right for holding a rifle. Joe had many great adventures in the Kennedy backyard and on assorted Kennedy family camping trips. He survived falling out of trees, being dragged behind Schwinn bicycles and he even spent a week in the freezer in the garage and lived to tell about it. However, I never had much use for the ’80s incarnation that came along with comic books and cartoons. Old Joe would’ve stomped the bejesus out of those tiny, pathetic action figures with a plastic combat boot. We didn’t need Cobra damnit. We made up our own goddamn bad guys. And we killed them. Well, here’s the cartoon version come to big-screen, live-action life. Can’t say it holds much interest for me, but at least it’s not a remake or a sequel. Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Sienna Miller star.

Julie & Julia. As a cooking show addict, I’m a big fan of Julia Child, but I don’t give a toss about Julie Powell or her blog-to-book adventures through all 524 recipes in Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Nora Ephron also sucks. On the other hand, Meryl Streep looks really entertaining as Julia Child. If the film was just an adaptation of Child’s autobiography, My Life in France, I’d be a lot more interested.

Shorts. With Spy Kids and The Adventures Shark Boy and Lava Girl, Robert Rodriguez seems to be carving a niche for himself out of family adventure comedies. This one is about a magical rock with the power to grant your every wish. The moral of the story: be careful what you wish for. Jon Cryer, William H. Macy, Leslie Mann and James Spader co-star.

When in Rome. The title cries out “insipid romantic comedy,” but it’s got Kristen Bell, Will Arnett, Jon Heder, Danny DeVito and Anjelica Huston so maybe there’s hope. When Bell grabs some magical coins from a fountain of love, she finds herself pursued across Rome by a strange assortment of men. Ok, scratch what I said about hope.

August 14

District 9. This interesting looking sci-fi tale has aliens becoming a segregated minority in South Africa. There’s always room on the film calendar for unique and smart sci-fi, but it doesn’t happen along very often. If District 9 turns out to fit the bill, it could prove to be one of the nicer surprises of summer.

The Goods: The Don Ready Story. Hard driving, hard partying salesman Jeremy Piven is brought in to rescue a struggling car dealer in Temecula, California. He’s a success at everything he does until runs into the girl of his dreams who just happens to be immune to his smooth-talking shtick. The lads who worship Entourage should be all over this, the first original film from Will Ferrell and Adam McKay’s Gary Sanchez Productions. Ving Rhames and David Koechner co-star.

Ponyo. Reminding us how great old-fashioned hand drawn animation can be, famed Japanese animator Hayao Miyazaki takes inspiration from Hans Christian Andersen’s A Little Mermaid in telling this tale of a goldfish who decides she wants to be human after being rescued by a little boy. Favorably compared to his classic My Neighbor Totoro, Ponyo is aimed at a younger audience than Miyazaki’s recent films. It shattered records at the Japanese box office where it made the Yen equivalent of a kajillion dollars. US distributor Disney (who will be making a return to hand drawn animation later this year with The Princess and the Frog) has recruited a Jonas (Frankie) and a Cyrus (Noah) to provide voices along with Matt Damon, Tina Fey, Cate Blanchett, Lily Tomlin, Betty White and Cloris Leachman.

The Time Traveler’s Wife. So you’re in love with a time traveler who randomly skips back and forth in time with no warning. That sucks. You’d have thought he might have included something about that on his eHarmony profile. Eric Bana is the traveler. Rachel McAdams is the wife.

August 21

Inglourious Basterds. Brad Pitt puts together a scruffy team of Jewish soldiers and joins up with a female undercover agent (Diane Kruger) to kick Nazi ass in Quentin Tarantino’s celebration of the World War II Men-on-a-Mission action picture. Whether it’s a campy wank or something a little more finely textured, Basterds is almost guaranteed to be a lot of fun for those of you who like the kind of thing Tarantino dishes out.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, concludes LiC’s look at Summer 2009. Sure there’s a whole other week left to August, but we’re not interested in a sequel to Rob Zombie’s pointless Halloween remake or the movie with the Gilmore Girl and we want to end this thing on a high note.

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