‘Dozen’ minus ‘Seven’ equals ‘A-Team’
Das A-Team saugt in jeder möglicher Sprache
Now that Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper are officially in talks to star in the A-Team adaptation being produced by Ridley and Tony Scott, the Internet is abuzz with A-Team excitement.
Originally I thought this was a stupid idea because the ’80s TV show was itself a stupid idea. I know, I know. Many boys my age and younger grew up loving the adventures of John “Hannibal” Smith, B.A. Baracus, “Howling Mad” Murdoch and Templeton “Faceman” Peck, but I wasn’t one of them. And you have to admit now looking back that it was a stupid show.
Seriously. Be honest with yourself.
The thing is, the movie adaptation is a stupid idea for reasons I never imagined.
Like it or not, the show was what it was: a goofy, campy, action adventure. That’s fine, but they’re ditching the camp factor and using the premise to make a movie “with a tone closer to those of Mission: Impossible and Ocean’s Eleven.” I’m not even sure what that means really…they’re taking it seriously but with a bit of a wink and no one gets their hair mussed? Whatever. Without the camp factor, it’s not the show anymore. It’s just four wrongly convicted war veterans who escape to become mercenary do-gooders…like a weird hybrid of Dirty Dozen and Seven Samurai.
That may or may not have some kind of cinematic potential, but it’s being written by the guy who wrote Wolverine and it’s being directed by Joe Carnahan. I’m sorry, I know many people who grew up loving A-Team probably also loved Carnahan’s Smokin’ Aces, but that was a horrible, derivative, stupid, ugly film. Carnahan sucks.
Also, if Bradley Cooper becomes the big box office draw everyone is predicting post-The Hangover, I will set my crotch on fire. He’s a handsome, talented guy, but he doesn’t have it. He just doesn’t. He wasn’t the best part of The Hangover and nobody went to see it because he was in it.
Filed under: Development, News
Tags: A-Team, Bradley Cooper, Joe Carnahan, Liam Neeson
OK, couple thoughts:
1. The A-Team was a stupid TV show but it appealed to me at the ripe age of 13. Nuff said about that.
2. Bradley Cooper has never been particularly good in anything, especially Alias. He is no George Clooney.
3. I just rented Taken, which was an absolute piece of crap, so Liam Neeson is no longer a brand I trust for reliable entertainment. What’s that? Yes, I previously willfully forgot Satisfaction, Next of Kin, High Spirits, Under Suspicion, K:19, and all the other paycheck movies Liam has signed up for. Good actor…with a shitty agent.
So as you can see, there’s really no reason to be getting panties bunched. This is non-news.
But Joel, Spider-Man underoos are being bunched all over the internet.
Also, I appreciate you (and many of my other friends) liking A-Team as lads…but then you all discovered girls and now I think we can agree it was a lame show. Right?
I think I made that clear, but then lots of things i enjoyed as a lad, even a teenager, have lost their shine since I became an adult. Part of that is better taste, part of that is maturity, part of that is just that I’m not the person I was so many decades ago.
It is that faction of folks out there that haven’t transcended any of these issues for whom this is an underoos-bunching experience. For them, I have only this: Phpppp!!! (sticks out tongue, mets wet, snide mocking sound with mouth)
We might also agree then that even if it was an awesome show, a movie is a stupid idea.
“Also, if Bradley Cooper becomes the big box office draw everyone is predicting post THE HANGOVER I will set my crotch on fire.”
WOW…
You are so very testy today, my precious little crabcake. Did someone piss in your cornflakes this morning ???
I seem to vaguely recall The A Team on the tube. Mostly in reruns. I never watched it.
Is that the show where Mr. T says, “SHUT UP, FOOL,” all the time? I should start using that. That’s an awesome catch phrase.
OT a bit…
Everyone has been talking about THE HANGOVER. It certainly would not be my scene. Though I must admit that I do like Animal House to a degree (John Belushi was a scream) and I DID see WEDDING CRASHERS three times. Laughed all the way through it.
But normally, hell no…
So I watched the red band trailer. I dunno. I have to do something I’m thoroughly unjazzed about next Monday. So it would be fun to have a good laugh after. The few minutes that I saw were funny in parts. Like the bit with the tiger.
But I’m willing to bet I’d walk out and be sorry that I went. Regardless of who pays.
Craig, if you really do decide to set your crotch on fire, could I film it for posterity?
But then…
Oh, never mind.
Heh….yeah I am a little grouchy today. As I said in the review, if you liked the trailer, you’ll like the movie, but don’t expect anything you didn’t see. There are a couple of jokes in the red band trailer that weren’t in the green band trailer, but that’s it.
As for Mr. Cooper…nothing against the guy at all, but he doesn’t seem like $20 million leading man material to me and that’s how people are starting to talk about him.
If you see it, I’ll be curious to know not only what you think about the movie, but also about Mr. Cooper. You know…a feminine opinion.
Also, sorry, there will be no posterity for my burning crotch…assuming I turn out to be wrong.
Well obviously I’m no big Bradley Cooper fan and I’m sure he’s got more range than I’ve seen, but something about the guy makes me think he was perfectly cast as the douchey groom in Wedding Crashers. I don’t know…maybe Bradley Cooper just needs to prove me wrong.
But playing the Faceman probably isn’t it.