Rambo Two too, Morer Badderer Boys, Disney: Marvelous
Boy did I wake up in a bad mood this morning. It’s hotter than hell around here and my apartment smells a bit like a campfire thanks to the wildfires raging to the east of me (and the doors and windows are flung open in a futile attempt to escape the heat). I suppose it could be worse. I could be burned to death or I could live in Houston.
Anyway, the point is, much of the movie news that happened while I tossed and turned in the heat trying in vain to grab a couple of consecutive hours of sweet blissful sleep annoyed me a lot more than it probably normally would have. None of it is actually really worth passing on, but I’ve got a bug up my ass now and it must be exorcised.
Here are the three reports this morning that seem to have nearly every fanboy site in a tizzy: development on sequels to Rambo and Bad Boys plus news that Disney is buying Marvel Entertainment for $4 billion.
Let’s get the last one out of the way first because I don’t actually care all that much. I’d be happy to see the played-out superhero genre retired for a decade or so, but that’s never going to happen. Even so, I liked how Marvel was moving toward integrating its universe into a cohesive cinematic whole the way Time Warner-owned DC has never been able to pull off. With the exception of Spider-Man and X-Men which are controlled by Sony and Fox respectively, Marvel properties seemed to have a certain unified energy to them and it made for something unique and potentially unprecedented in cinema.
Now that Marvel will just be one more piece of the Disney corporate branded machine, I don’t believe that energy will survive. They’ll milk the shit out of Marvel and they might even make a few bucks before dumping it in the gutter like a used up hooker, but I’ll be surprised if the projects coming after Iron Man 2 will have the same snap or hold the same promise. I could be wrong and probably am, but that’s all this news means to me.
Now, just for kicks, let’s pretend for a minute that Rambo and Bad Boys II don’t suck. Ok first, full disclosure: I never actually saw Bad Boys II. I once sat down to watch all of the movies produced by Jerry Bruckheimer in chronological order. Why? So that when I used him as the poster child for Popular Hollywood Suck, I’d know what I was talking about. See, I’d blacklisted him after the wretchedness that was Beverly Hills Cop II in 1987, but continued to mock him so I wanted to see if he was really as bad as I remembered. To make a long story short, I made it as far as 1998’s Enemy of the State before my soul demanded that I quit. The thought of Gone in 60 Seconds, Pearl Harbor and Kangaroo Jack was just too much to bear. I did see the first Bad Boys however, and you’ll have a hard time convincing me the sequel wasn’t just Suck turned up to 11.
Rambo on the other hand I most definitely saw and it was one of the most repellant theatrical experiences I’ve ever had. I can’t think of a stupider, uglier, more unpleasant film that I didn’t watch on VHS in high school as a joke with my snarky friends. To make it worse, I was surrounded by mentally diseased freaks hooting like drunken frat boys at a strip club whenever someone would get killed…and there was a lot of killing. Sure, Stallone did everything he could to vilify and dehumanize the victims so his audience could feel good about the brutality, but I had a hard time divorcing what was happening on the screen with what was happening in the real world around that time. I can’t remember many times when I felt lower about the human race.
Of course, I’m taking the movie way too seriously and I have yet to talk to anyone who was as repulsed as I was. I have friends who enjoyed the hell out of it. They say to me, “Relax, it’s just a movie!” but I say to them, “Get therapy, weirdo.”
The thing is, that both movies are being sequelized is neither surprising nor very interesting. I’m done complaining about sequels to shitty movies. These ones might not even ever really happen – Stallone is about 100 years old and they’ve only got a screenwriter for Bad Boys 3, none of the other principles have signed on – but the level of enthusiasm around the internet for both of them is sickening. Everyone cries about how many sequels are getting churned out of Hollywood and yet whenever one comes along that pushes people’s buttons, the buzz is instantaneous and wide spread. You can’t buy that kind of marketing and it’s no wonder the studios are addicted to it.
Once again, I’m a tiny part of that buzz whether I like it or not. Maybe I should just stop talking about it.
Filed under: Development, News
Tags: Bad Boys 3, Disney, Marvel, Rambo 5
Relax, it’s just a movie!
Haha Christian! Yeah, it’s getting to the point where complaining about this is a Mad Libs where we just swap out the names of the movie, stars, producers, and studios. It’s kinda sad and yet kinda not surprising to hear this news about these sequels.
As for Disney buying Marvel, well to my (snarky, cynical, dubious) tastes Marvel was already circling the drain of a creative dead zone so I doubt Disney can screw it up too much. If they do, it will lead to the studio’s demise as they will have sunk enormous resources into the deal. But I think they’ll make money off of it and do fairly well, even if the reality is that the movies, TV shows, cartoons, merchandise, Disney rides, music CDs, variety programs, mall tours, books, web sites, etc are all kinda crapticular.
Seriously, I had no real expectations for any of the upcoming Marvel movies. To me, comic book movies are on the down swing anyway. Disney’s financial resources might make these movies better. Who knows? They haven’t managed to screw up Pixar yet and they’re still releasing Miyazaki movies.
I say we wait and see. The minute Zac Effron is cast as Captain America, I’ll be the first to chime in. Until then…
Very saddened to hear about those fires. They are all over the news here.
Christian: Get therapy, weirdo. (Christian knows I kid…mostly)
Joel. “Marvel was already circling the drain of a creative dead zone” I should point out that I largely agree and that in the end is why this move doesn’t mean a whole lot to me, but being in a bad moon I can’t help but see doom and gloom. Excellent points about Pixar and Miyazaki…though they’re really just distributors for the latter and by giving John Lasseter some power, the former may actually make the other Disney product better.
Sam, yes it was sad a couple of fire fighters were killed yesterday and a few people have lost homes. There’s also a good chance a whole batch of communication towers are going to go up in smoke…TV, radio, cell, emergency….the whole deal. I’m just glad I don’t live in the danger zone.
“though they’re really just distributors for the latter”
The deal hasn’t been finalized yet but it’s entirely possible they’ll let Marvel continue to exist as a separate entity and just leverage their marketing and selling power. We don’t know how sweet the deal was, but Disney isn’t run by completely soulless morons, like say FOX Pictures are. I don’t like Disney, but I respect their wisdom and business acumen.
For 4 billion clams, it’s hard to imagine Disney will let it be a stand alone entity, but you’re right they good business heads and maybe they’ll even make Marvel better.
The cynic in me who is cranky from lack of sleep refuses to believe that, but it could easily be the case.
Reports I’m seeing on the conference call this morning indicate that the early perception from Marvel is that they will be fairly separate, like Pixar (one quote specifically compared the deal to Pixar’s) and Iger’s comment was “If isn’t broke…” so at least for now, it appears Marvel is in good shape. Whether or not that pans out in the long term, who knows?
As much as I’m tired of fanboys and give them grief, the little nerd inside me hopes this works out for everyone involved, most importantly the fans. I’m trying to find all the silver lining I can.
The idea of a Pixar produced Marvel superhero movie justifiably has people enthused.
My knee jerk instinct is to assume corporate mergers are bad for creativity, but as you said so far it seems to be working well for Pixar.
RAMBO!!!!!!! :-D
lol Matthew. As a fan, how do you feel about another one? I kind of feel like it was a one-time thing and whatever magic it may have had was spent.
Am I just blinded by my distaste?
I am pretty much ridiculously giddy about it.
As I said on my blog, I probably shouldn’t be. But I don’t care. I was like a 5 year old on Christmas last night when I found out.
Sorry, my day went completely bonkers, but let me respond to you (Craig) and paraphrase liberally from another email to a very annoyed friend of mine:
Think about this: Disney bought Miramax. Miramax didn’t change much. In fact, they kept funding all of Tarantino’s crazy-ass movies, including the very bloody/violent Kill Bill 1 and 2 and the Coens’ No Country for Old Men. Did Disney Disney-fy these? No, because they weren’t labeled Disney. They were Miramax. Will there ever be a Wolverine Snikety Snik Beserker ride at Epcot? Probably not. Will the Punisher ever get a late night series on The Disney Channel? No.
But I think Disney will let Marvel be Marvel, as long as Marvel keeps making money and doesn’t start losing money big time, which they might, or if Marvel were to release a comic book call X-mutie Baby Eating Post-Op Trannies…that might cause a problem.
Will Disney water down the Marvel brand world-wide with a whole bunch of annoying new products and tie-ins? Sure. Will they do things with Marvel characters we love that are annoying and despicable? Probably. Will they eventually cast Miley Cyrus in Dazzler: The Movie? Possibly.
All in all, Marvel was already doing enough to stink up their own poo and Marvel, being Marvel, will continue to stink up their own poo. I don’t know if Disney owning them is good or bad but I can see as many possibilities for good as bad. The possibility of Jerry Bruckheimer producing a comic book movie just shot through the roof. That is certainly bad but it’s not the end of the world. Now if Michael Bay directs the next X-men movie…
Joel, I would only argue about yoru first point that both Miramax and Pixar were stronger companies than Marvel when they were snapped up and they weren’t purchased because Disney wanted to get their mitts on a series of brands.
I picture Disney as eyeing Marvel as merely raw brand material.
Your last point though that Marvel has done plenty to ruin their own product is absolutely true. Really Iron Man and the 2nd Hulk are the only two films they’ve produced as a stand alone company and as I said before their best stuff (X-Men, Spider-Man) is controlled by other studios.
I don’t know, time will tell how this plays out.
I still think a Thor movie was kind of a lame idea. I wonder if Disney will agree with me.
Point well taken.
The Mouse is rampaging through the movie industry like an oversized Stay Puft marshmallow man.
Here I am arguing a point that ultimately doesn’t really matter too much to me.
As much as I liked the idea behind Marvel sort of integrating their characters, prospects of a Thor movie, a Captain America movie and an Avengers movie didn’t really grab me that much.
Also: it’s funny that FOX is digging up the corpse of Fantastic Four now and basically letting Akiva Goldsman skull fuck it.
Glad I wasn’t a fan of that comic growing up. I’d be pissed.
“I could be burned to death or I could live in Houston. ”
ha ha ha. this summer has seemed hotter than the last few tht’s for sure.
joel: your zac as cap am thing. well….
miley cyrus has already auditioned for batman. so…
http://www.celebuzz.com/miley-cyrus-play-batgirl-dark-s121831/
joel, the dazzler thing. someone get a scriptwriter *right now*.joel betttr get a exec producer credit or something if that happens. also craig, could you check/ i think my previouss comment in this thread got caught in the spam thing or something.
also in the reboots not many wanted dept.. fox is gonna reboot the fantastic four…
Sorry about that Glimmer. I dug your comment out of the spam pile.
The spam filter still gets twitchy sometimes when hyperlinks are in comments. Stupid and annoying, I know, but i guess it’s better than being up to my ass in Viagra ads.
If THOR is done right, you naysayers will be eating Hammer!
I was never a THOR fan as a lad, but I’ve been enlightened to the possibilities of awesome. I find it hard to believe they’ll manage it, but then IRON MAN seemed like a longshot too and they did ok by Shell Head.
Can non-fan Kenneth Brannagh pull it off like big fan Favreau?
I think a non-fan might be the way to go. Filmmakers embracing the fanboy coddling mentality has grown a smidge boring.
i would argue that the superhero films suffer because the studios throw out what created the fanboys in the first place. There was no fanboy coddling on FANTASTIC FOUR, DAREDEVIL, THE HULK or even IRON MAN. The reason why SUPERMAN and SPIDER-MAN 2 are the best comic book movies is because they actually duplicate what made the damn things successful to begin with.
I think Chuck and Christian are both right. The comic book movies that failed the most egregiously to me have failed to get the base characters and relationships right, typically because the filmmakers just don’t get the comics or they don’t take them seriously. But I also agree with Chuck that full fidelity to the source material isn’t necessarily a great idea either, as a creative take can lead to interesting places.
But I can’t come up with any good examples to bolster that argument, where as I completely agree with Christian that Daredevil, Fantastic Four and (I’d add) X-men 3 were catastrophes.
Right, Joel. So many of them go at it trying to make every scene and character LOOK eye-poppingly cool, they forget to actually make them inherently cool, i.e. *interesting*. The best superhero films are the ones that prioritize what I think are the two most important elements: story and character. Not plot points, but story. Make me care about these superfolk without insulting my intelligence and I’ll dive out of any CGI freeze-ray superjet with you.
The thing is, most fanboy harping seems to focus on inane things like how the costumes look or who is cast in the lead.
Giving the limitations of a 2 1/2 hour movie, I think Snyder pretty slavishly recreated Watchmen, but there was still something vital missing. A soul maybe?