5 of 2012
I’ll admit that, despite my better judgment, I responded enthusiastically to the original trailer for Roland Emmerich’s latest End of the Worlder 2012. It’s also true that this 5-minute clip which played all over TV earlier this evening has more “wow” moments than the entirety of Avatar Day, but I’m not going to get ahead of myself. Though Emmerich has turned the carnage factor up to 11 – even by his standards – there still has to be a movie in between scenes of the shit hitting the fan. That’s a problem because Emmerich has never done anything to suggest those parts won’t suck.
Plus, I don’t care for the jokey, sophomoric tone in this sequence. The video game action sequence is entertaining enough, but a limousine driving through spewing sewage? An Arnold impersonator? Come on.
Besides that, even in a low res window on my computer, the scenes with the actors all look they’re sitting on a stage in front of a green screen…which they are, but shouldn’t it be more convincing these days?
Also, I think John Cusack might have finally worn out the good will he earned from The Sure Thing up through High Fidelity.
My inner 13-year-old will demand that I see this thing, but I’m not paying money for it.
2012 opens on November 13th.
Filed under: Clips
Tags: 2012, John Cusack, Roland Emmerich
Cusack has certainly broken his pick, as it were, on the “timid everyman” persona.
What I find humorous is that The History Channel runs endless programs on the subject of how 2012 will be the year in which the world ends. Where are my Hitler, Charlemagne and, er, Alexander?
Alexander, forget US History Channel (which eschews actual history for de vinci codes, UFOs, and assorted psychic mumbo jumbo) and access the international History Channel (where you’ll find the likes of Roman emperors, Charlemagne, WWII).
What is the appeal of barely serviceable quality CGI disaster footage involving US landmark locations? I could understand the novelty factor the first time round but isn’t this the same old same old? I’d personally rather watch paint dry.
That is quite possibly one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen.
Emmerich’s disaster movie schtick is the cinematic equivalent of watching a demolition derby.
A demolition derby of stupid, idiotic, lame, and WTF.
I love the comment threads at the AV Club, where I’m fairly certain the staff of the Onion is contributing about half the comments under various witty pseudonyms. The one for this clip is priceless.
There are many great comments, but my favorite so far (the choice was tough) is this:
“I’m almost positive its clips like this that Michael Bay masturbates to.”
Ahahaha, love it.
I thought this comment was pretty funny too ->
“I was glad to see Rio got what was coming to it for taking the Olympics from Chicago.”
“That clip is dangerously low on sassy black characters. I hope this isn’t indicative of the whole movie.”
“Didn’t the Mayan Apocolypse already happen?
I mean…ask a Mayan.”
When I went to see Harry Potter, they played this trailer and when it was over the entire audience burst out laughing.
Perhaps they’re going for cross-over appeal. Young boys and grown up Joe six-neurons are going to love this no matter how dumb or how ridiculously nature’s destruction is continuously choreographed to only just miss the fleeing heroes. But by doing it with such delirious improbability and lameness they’re attempting to appeal to those who like straight face genre parodies.
It’s stupid and obnoxious badly written disasterpablum that probably represents everything that’s wrong with America and I still want to see it on a big screen with big boomy surround sound.
Yeah it looks bad. But in that almost throwback 80s way it also looks like Big Dumb Fun. I can already tell I’m more likely to laugh at the movie than with it, but it still sounds entertaining. I dunno. Call me Jen Six-Neuron, I guess.
That said, my John Cusack crush is officially over. Unless there’s a scene where he holds a boombox over his head and the raw power of Peter Gabriel holds the apocalypse back.
It’s going to make a gazillion dollars because most folks enjoy this sort of thing and I can’t blame them. I can’t turn off the “oh come ON” part of my brain long enough to even joy this CGI porn sequence. I think we all can admit that it’s dumber than a bag of hammers, but it’s also not trying to smarter than a bag of hammers. I hope.
Sartre, excellent advice–I do indeed only watch the International History Channel these days.
This comment section is a riot, though I’m sad to see Craig’s inner-13-year-old boy’s spirit possibly be bruised.
Too bad they couldn’t tap someone with a bit more personality than John Cusack (ditto the what the hell happened sentiment, although he wasn’t too bad in 1408) and Amanda Peet. I’d actually forgotten the latter ever existed until she showed up here trying (not too convincingly) to not get thrown from the limo as it makes a sharp turn to avoid some CGI debris.
Just imagine the joy of watching, say, Samuel L. Jackson and Wanda Sykes cursing up a storm while they navigate the end of the world. And why are the only minorities in disaster movies always the stoic, somewhat-culpable leaders (Morgan Freeman in Deep Impact, Chiwetel Ejiofor in this one) rather than among the running, screaming masses? A strange dynamic.
Oh, snap! Looking through the cast list, I just realized Danny Glover is the president in 2012, not Ejiofor. Not that it really matters, but even when I’m wrong I’m right.
“This comment section is a riot, though I’m sad to see Craig’s inner-13-year-old boy’s spirit possibly be bruised.”
Craig was already arguing with his inner 13 year old over the film.
Craig: You f***ing retard.
Inner 13 year old: You’re dead inside.
I’m not sure who won out in the end.
It’s going to be better than Transformers 2. That’s not saying much, but in my 13-year-old universe, it’s still something.
To go back and answer Sarte’s question about what the appeal of this kind of thing is: it’s a throw back for me. I love cheesy disaster movies when I was a kid. Towering Inferno, Earthquake, The Poseidon Adventure….wretched movies but they speak to a primal sense of awe and as horrible as this is going to be, god help me if I don’t still enjoy seeing stuff get messed up.
My patience does have limits…like I said Trannies 2 was busto, but I can’t deny I’m drawn to the wreckage here. Don’t worry, when it blows I’ll have no one to blame but myself.