Jessica Rabbit

The internet got all excited a couple of days ago when Robert Zemeckis mentioned to MTV that he was bringing aboard original screenwriters Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman to write the sequel to the 1988 hit Who Framed Roger Rabbit he’s been threatening to make.

Let’s forget for a minute how irritating Hollywood’s remake/sequel addiction is.

Let’s also forget how far Robert Zemeckis has his head up the ass of technology and how the more lifelike his animation becomes, the more lifeless.

Finally, let’s forget Zemeckis has lined up to ruin The Beatles’ Yellow Submarine.

Any one of those things would be enough to kill my interest in a Rabbit sequel, but I have a better one: the original is a crappy movie. Take away the groundbreaking technology that seamlessly fused the plastic world of classic animation with live action and you’re left with a busy, shrill and irritating piece of work filled with obnoxious toons and lifeless human beings.

Maybe if the sequel is called Who Beats the Living Shit Out of Roger Rabbit and Leaves His Rotting Carcass in the Sun Where the Birds Can Get It I might be curious. Maybe.

And what about Price and Seaman? These are the same assholes who helped foist Ron Howard’s wretched Why… I mean How The Grinch Stole Christmas upon the world. Before they did that, they did Caddyshack II, Doc Hollywood, Mr. Baseball and Wild Wild West for chrissakes.

Now let’s go back to Zemeckis’ obsession with technology for a minute. The best thing about Roger Rabbit was the fusion of toon and human. The wide gulf between the old school, hand drawn cartoons and the live action humans made it all the more interesting, but what about this creepy 3D motion capture business Zemeckis has been trafficking in the last half-decade or so? If he goes that route, he’ll just be minimizing the one thing that made the original interesting.

Does Zemeckis have the stones to tell a story where old-fashioned toons rise up and take the animation world back from their 3D mocap offspring? I doubt it, but that might be a movie I’d be interested in.

5 Responses to “Here’s the thing about Roger Rabbit 2”

  1. WHO BEATS THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ROGER RABBIT & LEAVES HIS ROTTING CARCASS IN THE SUN WHERE THE BIRDS CAN GET IT…?

    Hah hah. Oh, Craig…

    That would make quite the flick – with maybe even more of an intriguing mystery vibe.

    I’d pay to see that.

    It’s Hollywood. They’ll do whatever the hell they want to anyway. It’s just business. We all know this.

    Though I loved the parts that I have come across, I must admit that I’ve never seen WFRR in its entirety.

    More’s the pity. Mainly because Jessica and I have a whole hell of a lot in common. Or so I’ve been told…

    Starting with two words: KATHLEEN TURNER.

  2. [Craig lets off a few rounds in the direction of that rabbit] Bawoney! I’ll show you. Take that! You wascally wabbit!

    http://www.baconstripranch.com/images/20_Elmer_Fudd2.jpg

  3. You are so dead right here it’s not even funny, Craig. (Except for the funny.)

    Why is it automatically assumed that bringing back the original screenwriters is a good thing? Sometimes, yes. But sometimes hell no.

    I don’t know if anyone would argue that the secret strength of Roger Rabbit was its script.

    It was a technological breakthrough, sure. But an annoying clicheed one with limited bits of humor beyond the slapstick and protagonists I wanted to kill. Roger Rabbit himself was the worst probably, but I can’t tell you how much I hate Jessica Rabbit. Ugh.

    I didn’t have any need for a WFRR sequel. None at all. But the news that they’re bringing back the original creative team is downright depressing. Zemeckis and his fascination with visual effects is getting tiring. If he and Cameron ever have a love child, look out.

    Or worse yet, a Cameron-Bay-Zemeckis production company.

  4. Seriously JB, I was shocked at all the horrible movies the two screenwriters are responsible for. The Grinch! AGgghhh.

    Also, I fully expected someone to tell me I’m full of shit on this. I KNOW most people loved Roger Rabbit. Where are you??

  5. The sequel maybe about Roger, Eddie, Lucky, Bonkers, and Sam and Max investigating on who destroyed Antarctica, because Eleanor will be very upset when the baby penguin is killed.

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